Note to self: I’m chasing pavements.

Stay strong, clench your fists when you feel the sudden rush of frustration, pain, worry. Smile & be fair, no one around you deserves to suffer from your individual pain. Breathe. Stop, &breathe. Look up the cloudy sky that predicts an impending downpour. Close your eyes & take a deep breathe. Yes, that smell, the smell of rain & leaves. Calm yourself down. What’s that tear? No, no, no. Don’t, don’t ever. You aren’t weak, you can’t be weak. You have that many opportunities that lie at your feet now. You’ve got them, flourish in them. It’s hard to rule all but try, try. You may, you will.
Yes those thoughts. Those ghastly nasty thoughts. They plague you over & over again like locusts feasting on wheat. You wave your arms frantically, they keep buzzing & screaming. You wave harder, almost punching but they never fail to flee. What have you got left behind? What have you fallen yourself into?
Perhaps you should have followed your heart like what you do, literature. Now you regret but what can you do? You can’t probably change & now you just remain hungry & eager to pour your soul out. How about your friends? They’ve changed? They left? They were the old familiar faces, those so distinctly showed the true depth of friendship & love for one another. Why have they slowly fade away like seams on clothes lost in the wind.
You’ve met so many problems, more often worries that came after temporal satisfaction. Now there’s another competition, you’ve tried so hard & you just feel so exhausted & doubtful. Is it worth to give away all this way? NO! NEVER! You probably tried much harder that that ‘lucky’. Move your feet, get on your toes, shine! Show what you can, what you have, what you promised. Remember clearly those techniques, those drills, come on, form synapses with your brain. You nearly gave up once but you didn’t succumb to such failures meant for weaklings, you stood up.
What’s that second drop I see, it’s enough already. Do not shed from exhaustion & despair but only shed those of joy.
Focus, life’s like a marathon. It’s those times you feel like falling, sitting, fainting but you still have to head on. Stride, burst your pain, shout your passion because you need to let yourself know where you’re heading, what you’re doing.
Okay, let it all out now, it’s okay. Tomorrow has its own set of worries but the day would be over soon.

Get hold of yourself Genevieve, remember, help yourself.